Achieving Your Dreams in the New Year 2009

Remember that when setting out to achieve anything you need to start small. We must crawl before we walk and we must walk before we run. I often reflect on a saying I heard many years ago, it goes "How do you eat an Elephant?" Answer; "One bite at a time." If the challenge is to overwhelming when you begin, the odds of you giving up are greatly increased. If you wanted to start training for the Boston Marathon and have never run a distance of over 3 blocks, do you start your training by running 26 miles a day? You must start small. You begin with what you can already do and add 1 block to your training. then you increase the distance as you build strength, stamina, and endurance. This same strategy holds true for whatever goals you set for yourself. Remember that small steps lead toward big accomplishments. You must build a routine that allows for small successes. Then as you are ready you add a little more and work toward the larger goal. If we break down our goals into smaller more manageable and achievable goals we will not get frustrated or discouraged and give up. I believe that we can accomplish anything we set out to achieve, as long as we take small steps to get there. Whatever your goals are for the New Year begin your journey with confidence and pride knowing that success is within your grasp. The ultimate power is within you, the question is will you use it?

The Economic Problems in the US

Why is the United States in such a bad Economic State? Well the answer is quite simple. We the people have been far to busy enjoying a lifestyle that we simply cannot afford. Every where you look you have seen people enjoying themselves while sinking further into a debt that they simply cannot pay back. We have bought everything that our hearts desire big houses, luxury cars, the latest and greatest in technology, taken the family on wonderful once in a lifetime trips, we eat out so much that we start to wonder why we have kitchens in our houses and we have done all this on credit. I have often wondered how so many people can afford the lifestyles that they live. Well the answer is they can't. You see there was once a time when banks would only lend money to people who could afford to pay it back and people hated banks for that. Well things changed and everyone, who could fill out a credit application and show some kind of income, was given the opportunity to indulge themselves in whatever they wanted and they did. With their new found wealth (credit) they enjoyed the fruits of little to no labor. Now it's time to pay the piper and guess what they can't. The sob stories are endless, because people don't want to take responsibility for their actions. We couldn't wait to have the things we wanted and now somehow it's not our fault. When will people learn that everything has a price and one day you will be asked to pay that price. We have been so focused on closing the gap between those who have and those want what others have, that we have spent ourselves into this financial mess we are now in.

I remember a time when people had to save their money to buy what they wanted. The work and effort put into attaining that which we wanted made that prize all the more special and once we got it we took care of it. In this throw away society we value almost nothing. Why because anything and everything has become far to easy to replace. Ladies and Gentlemen this is our wake up call. We can fix this and we will get through this but it will take sacrifice and an understanding. We will be forced to give up all the things that we thought we wanted and we will have to understand that if we want it we will have to work and save in order to get it. There is a reason we call it building wealth. So far to many people have built nothing and enjoyed everything. Don't listen to the salesperson or million dollar ad on TV that stirs your emotions, instead follow that inner voice that guides you to true happiness and that which you know is right. You and your children don't need a ton of stuff to be happy. What you need is some money in the bank when times get tough, food on the table, cloths on your bodies, and a roof over your heads. Focus on the things that truly matter and life will be easier and you will be happier. Life is full of lessons will you learn from this one? The Choice is Yours...............

Don't Panic

Look, I understand that times are very uncertain and for many of you quite stressful. So this month my message is very simple "DON'T PANIC." I think that the reason that we feel stressed and frustrated is that we feel helpless and not in control of what is happening around us, perhaps to us and the money we have worked very hard to save. Again Don't Panic. Things will get better, it may not happen right away like we would like but things will get better. Remember no situation is ever permanent. The only constant is our lives is change. And believe it or not we need change and uncertainty in our lives to keep our minds sharp and our lives interesting. We never learn anything from certainty. Stay strong, keep a positive emotional state and look forward with a renewed sense of purpose and excitement. That is after all what you can control. You have the power to control your emotions and your future. The reason we fall is so we learn how to get back up. Panic is a destructive emotion that will only hurt you and control your ability to make good decisions.

Quit Thinking "Get Rich Quick"

I can't tell you how many people still fall for get rich quick scams, but the number is very high. Listen, the only people who get rich is the person selling you their so called proven system to making money. There is no system that will make you a millionaire over night, in a week or in a month. If you want to be rich it's going to take time, that's why it's called "Building Wealth" and in order for you to build wealth you cannot throw your money away. I know that it sounds tempting and that's why these scams work. The plain and simple truth is that making money takes work, a lot of hard work. Even the people scamming you out of your money work hard. There is a simple formula to building wealth and I reveal it in my book "The Choice is Yours." The reason more people are not wealthy is also very simple, they cannot follow the system. Why? Because most people want everything but are simply not will to do what it takes to get it. Energy and Effort = Rewards. So depending on how much energy and effort you put into something determines the rewards. You would be better off playing the lottery for one dollar a week then sending your hard earned money to some one who claims they have a system of getting rich quickly with little or no effort. If you put as much effort into building wealth as you do in getting rich quick you would be well on your way to achieving your dreams.

Getting What You Want "The Power of Attraction"

Is it possible to get everything that you want in life? I believe that it is and what make it possible is the power of positive thinking and belief. By using the Power of Positive Thought and Belief you are also using the Power of Attraction. What is the Power of Attraction? The Power of Attraction is the force that draws us toward our desires or fears. In short, what we focus on most we will ultimately be drawn to. There are many examples of this Power of Attraction that manifest itself each and everyday, one example that had the privilege of witnessing was at the 2008 Senior Open Golf Championship. I noticed that this Power of Attraction was being used by every player. Now whether or not they were aware of the fact that they were using this power is another subject altogether, but it was clear that they were using this power. What they focused on either their desires or their fears seemed to come to pass. I remember hearing player say things like "that's the shot I wanted" or "I was afraid of hitting it there." You see how this law works when our focus is on the negative then we are drawn to the negative, if we chose to focus on the positive then we are drawn to the positive. Our language of thought will shape our beliefs and change our focus and what we focus on will be our direction. Now understand that I'm not saying that all you need to do is focus on something to make it happen. It takes action toward that focus to make things happen. If you dream about winning the lottery and you focus intently on it, you still cannot win if you don't buy a ticket. Without action all you are doing is wasting your thought energy and your time.
So let's take a look at how this Power of Attraction works. As we send out thought waves of energy either positive or negative we attract either positive or negative energy back to us. What we send out and receive back is what guides our focus. That focus moves us into a certain direction either positively toward our goals or negatively away from our goals and toward our fears. Then as we progress toward things either positively or negatively we develop a certain language of thought that either supports or rejects our beliefs. Leading us to failure or success in our lives. We can have everything that we want if we believe we can achieve it, that's the power of positive thought and the Power of Attraction.

Management Tip "Catch Them Doing Somthing Right"

Catch your employees doing something right and give them praise for it. More often then not as managers we tend to be more involved when things are not going well or when things are not going as planned. So our attitudes tends to be one of enforcing policy or problem solving, rather then one of support and encouragement. Change this perception of who you are. Check on your employees and thank them for their hard work and effort. Now that doesn't mean that you should praise them for just anything. The praise should be in reference to their work performance. This does a few things like:
1. It lets them know that they are a valuable part of the work force.
2. It reinforces positive work performance and encourages more of the same.
3. It builds self confidence.
4. It causes others to step up performance.
5. It tells the employees that you notice more than just their mistakes.
6. It send the message that you appreciate them and what they do.
7. It gives you more respect from employees.
As a leader you are not just there when things go wrong but you also need to be there with powerful praise when things are going right. Building a bridge of respect and trust with your employees and they will perform for you in any circumstance and under any conditions. Remember that everyone is important to the success of a company no matter what job they perform. One person can be the difference between good and great, be the person that takes action toward great and catch them doing something right.

Having a positive impact in another's life

People often ask me why I do what I do. So I thought I would take the time to answer this question in a blog. I believe that the most important thing we can do in this world is make a positive impact on people's lives. I have learned a great deal in my life from people who have experienced both failure and success at a very high level. Through out my life I have used this information to attain a great amount of success in my personal, professional, business, and financial life. I feel that the most important thing I can do with this information is to pass it along and help as many people as possible. As in the title of my book "The Choice is Yours" to either take advantage of this information or not. I personally would love to help everyone, but I understand that some people are simply uncoachable and unteachable. They for what ever reason believe that they know everything and can do it better themselves. Personally I'm OK with that. If your life is everything that you have hoped for then GREAT. I will be the first person to tell you that I am very happy for you and keep up the good work. Life is about being happy with what you have and have achieved, it that simple. But for many people there are things that they would like to change in their life and it is for those people that I do what I do. I feel that when we do things for others it brings us a fulfillment that we simple cannot get when we only pursue things that are self fulfilling. This is the reason I started The Giving Back campaign. I want people to get involved with something bigger than themselves. I believe that one person truly can change the world, maybe not in one lifetime but anyone can start a movement in the waters of life that can ripple for an eternity. I hope this gives you an insight to why I do what I do. Belive that all things are possible and they will be.

What is Insanity

My definition insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result or outcome. Why am I writing about this? Well because a lot of people live life this way. They continue to make the same life decisions and expect a different outcome. If you spend your life running head on into a brick wall, don't wonder why your head hurts. If something is not working we must step back and focus on another path. Change the direction (decision) and you will change the destination (outcome).

Why we do what we do good or bad

I often get asked this question about behavior "Why keep doing I do things that I know are bad for me?" The answer to this question is that we all have certain needs, I call them core needs, that we need to fill in our lives. These needs can be anything from excitement, love, adventure, security, control, power, importance, respect and so on. Each person has a different list of core needs that they want to fill in their lives. How we rank these core needs in our life determines the decisions that we make good or bad. The core needs at the top of our list (the top three) will be the most powerful needs that you will want to fill. Behavior good or bad will continue if they meet at least two of the core needs you have, especially if it meets the core needs on the top of your list. The more core needs a certain behavior meets the more likely you will continue this behavior regardless of the cost. For example; people who have a core need of excitement at the top of their list are more likely to jump from job to job and spend a lot of money looking to fill this need. They say things like "I had to quit that job because it was to boring or not challenging me enough." The problem come in when they are broke and unemployed looking to fill this core need of excitement. This could cause them to turn to things like drinking, drugs, and criminal behavior. I'm not saying that it will, but it could. So then the question becomes "How then do we determine the ranking of our core needs?" The stronger the emotions are to a certain core need the higher the ranking of that need. We are after all emotionally driven animals and our emotional states move us in any direction that we wish. So to change your behavior change the ranking of your core needs and the emotions that are connected to them.
I talk about this topic in more detail in my book The Choice is Yours so if you want to know more get a copy from my web site www,johntubiolo.com at $14.95 it's the best investment you could make to improve the quality of your life.

Overcoming Depression

Why are so many people depressed or unhappy with their life? I believe that it is because we have become a culture of negativity. Somewhere along the way our focus has changed from what is and could be to a very negative what should have been. This way of thinking has taken a very firm hold in our society and culture. People spend far too much time and energy thinking about what they don’t have that they cannot see what is good in their lives. We focus on our problems and dwell on them, with thoughts of what we should have done instead of looking for solutions like what we could be doing right now to change our situation or position in life. I believe that people suffering from depression have simply become inactive in their life goals. They become depressed when their life does not mirror their ideology of what should have been. Instead of adapting and changing their vision and goals they become trapped by their thoughts of what they have not yet achieved. Let me give you an example of what I’m talking about. I recently talked to a woman who was severely depressed. She told me that she had lost all motivation and desire to accomplish anything in her life. Just getting out of bed became a challenge for her. I started by asking her what she thought she was missing in her life. What did she think she should have accomplished by this point in her life? Who did she imagine she would have been and what did she think she should have had? What I discovered was that her ideology of what her life should have been was nowhere close to the life she was living. She believed that by the time she was 35 years old she would have had a flourishing career as an Attorney, would have traveled the world, had a fairy tale marriage, and had two children a boy and a girl. The reality about her life was she never finished college; she married very young; she was a stay at home mom to three boys; and her husband worked long hours so he could provide a good life for his family. Her lack of accomplishment had put her into a very depressed emotional state, she was on medication but as her depression deepened her medication only covered up the real issues. At this point in time she could have won the lottery and her emotional state would not have changed for very long. So how could we change her emotional state? I believe that there are 5 steps to changing your emotional state. They are;

1. We change our Body Language
2. We change our Mental Focus
3. We change our Language of Thought
4. We change our Belief System
5. We Find Purpose in life

Here’s how it works. There is a body language of strength; there is a body language of confidence; a body language of success; a body language of power by changing our physical state we also change our emotional state. Our body posture can literally change how we feel. When our shoulders are up, our heads are held high, we have a smile on our face, our hands and arms are at our side, and we stand tall and proud our brain chemistry changes. When we are depressed our bodies assume a very different physical state. Our shoulders are down, our heads are down, our arms are crossed, our bodies are tense, and we are certainly not smiling. It may not be the same for everyone but the changes in your body language are there and if you simply alter them your emotional state will change.
The next step is what we chose to focus on. When we are depressed we focus on negative thought like how bad things are, or what we haven’t done with our lives, or that we aren’t contributing enough, that our lives have no purpose, and so on. We need to change our mental focus, instead of focusing on the negative focus on the positive. Focus on what is going right with your life. Don’t worry about what you haven’t done there is always time accomplishment, but only if you allow for it. Give yourself permission to achieve what it is that you feel you are lacking in your life. The only limitations that we have in our lives are the ones we place on ourselves. So positive thoughts are that we have the ability to change our lives, we have health, family, love, a home, what ever it may be change your mental focus.

Now we must change the language of our thought. Why is language of thought important? Because the language of thought controls what emotions we feel and the emotions we feel controls our actions and inactions. This is where you challenge the beliefs that you have. When we are depressed and in a negative state we have a very specific language of thought. We reinforce how we feel by what we chose to say about ourselves. We chose thoughts and language like we don’t matter, or things would better with out us, or my life has no meaning, and so on. This language that we use gives us permission to stay in the depression that we are in. By making a decision to change this language we chose to take back control of our lives. But it will also challenge us to take responsibility for our lives. We all know that it is far easier to blame outside forces for what we have become or for where we are then it is to face our fears and take responsibility for our lives and possibly fail. The risk of making positive changes for most people out weighs the rewards. If we change the language of thought we can change the risks. The power of positive thought will change how we view the outcome of the changes we are making in our lives by changing our emotional state from negative one to a positive one. Therefore reinforcing the decision to change what we are, who we are, and the condition of our lives. Remember that the expectations we have can be changed to meet our lives and never determine the quality of our live.

All that we have done to this point will be for one purpose and that purpose is to change our belief system. The beliefs that you have will shape who you are and what you will achieve. So it becomes very important for you to change what you believe so that the limitations you have placed on yourself can be lifted. How do beliefs change our limitations? They change how we make decisions by changing what emotions we have connected with change. For example if we believe we cannot do something what is our emotional state? We don’t even try if we know we will fail, we lower our emotional state and level of commitment to meet our expectations. If however we believe we can succeed then what is our emotional state? We put everything we have into trying to accomplish or achieve this goal because failure is not an option. I firmly think that what you believe about the world around you will shape what decisions you make and ultimately what you will achieve. So how important are your beliefs? They are critical to your success. We need to have a belief system that allows us to know beyond all shadows of doubt that doing something will be better than doing nothing. That what you do matters and that the quality of your life is determined by the decisions you make. You need to understand that as human beings we need challenges in our lives. That’s what gives our lives excitement and variety. The trick is to not dwell on them for to long, experience challenges solve them and move on.

Lastly we must find purpose in our lives. Whatever that is for you, find a way to contribute, I believe that if you only do things for yourself you will never find the fulfillment and happiness that you seek. When we have purpose we are emotionally charged to perform and that brings us to accomplishment. Why is purpose so important because it gives our lives meaning, it makes us important. So find your purpose in life and experience the challenges that life offers you. Learn from the mistakes you make and don’t avoid taking risks. The rewards will be a better life filled with the knowledge that you have overcome all the diversity that life has given you. We need to understand that no one knows what lies over the next hill or around the corners of our lives but we need to experience all of it. Everything from challenges, accomplishment, disappointment, joy, pain, failure and success all of this makes us who we are. Without pain we can never understand joy, without failure we never appreciate success. If you believe that there will never be pain and disappointment in your life you are only lying to yourself. What happens to us in life is never as important as what we do about it. At the moment we make a decision to change our lives that is when we gain the ultimate power, the power to live.

An easy way out of financial hardships

What I am writing about today is not easy for people to hear in these troubled times. But it is very important that you listen to what I feel needs to be said and more importantly understood. I'm sure that most of you will have a million excuses as to why you cannot or will not take the action necessary to get out of financial trouble. So remember that what ever happens to you, if you are not willing to change you behavior, there is no one to blame for your inaction's but yourself. Don't blame the government, your employer, your family, or anyone or anything else on your financial situation if you chose not to take action, OK. Now with that said, we can move on to the problem at hand. We live in a culture that relies on technology and convenience so much that we believe we need it to exist. We spend much of our hard earned money on these things that are in fact luxuries.
These luxuries are things like cell phones, cable TV, new vehicles, eating out, credit cards, Internet service, video game systems, entertainment, vacations, coffee from a coffee shop, the list goes on but I'm going to stop here because I think you get my point. When I look at many peoples expenses the overwhelming majority of their money is spent on things other than what they need to live. People will over spend on these luxuries rather then make a house payment. I find that to be very disturbing. Everyday I see people who live well above their means and give no second thought to the reality that life could change in an instant and not always for the good. They could leave their families with nothing but debt to them by. Why have we become a society of get it now and pay later? Because large companies spend millions of dollars in advertising to convince us that we cannot live without their products. People need to get a grip on life when they think their ten year old child needs a cell phone to call home to let their parents know where they are. If you have a ten year old child and you don't know where they are, then you don't need to have children, technology will not make you a better parent it just makes you lazy.
If we worked as hard to save our money as we did to spend it, would we be facing the financial challenges that we face today? I don't think so. Now is the time to cut out those things that keep us from reaching our financial goals. Did you know that you should have one years worth of wages in the bank to fall back on if times get tough. Today most people couldn't even write a check for $2000.00 if they had to. So how can we overcome this major challenge in our lives? We reprogram our belief system. We need to change our belief of what we need to be happy and our definition of success.
Understand that we all have this ideology and vision of what we believe our lives should be like. Far to often this idea or concept we have of the way our lives should be is unrealistic. So what can happen I believe, is one of two things.

• One is that we try to buy the life we believe we should have (house, cars, vacations, and so on). So we spends ourselves into debt to find the happiness we are believe we missing in our lives. This leads to huge financial problems that many people never overcome. You need to focus on becoming a positive contributor to your families needs. This never involves buying and having stuff that you cannot afford or that you don't even need. Your family will be far better served by having money saved to fall back on when unforeseen circumstances arise. Your value as a parent or spouse will never be judged by things in your garage.
• The second thing that can happen to us is that we become depressed. When our vision or concept of life does not fit the life we have depression sets in and we spend all of our time wondering what went wrong. We start to medicate our bodies and try to use these drugs to change how we feel. When in reality all we need to do is change our belief about what we need in order to be happy. You must understand that real happiness doesn't require certain conditions. We don't have to have everything we want in order to give ourselves permission to be happy. You can decide to be happy with the life you have, but only if you agree that not everything must be picture perfect and in a certain order.

If you are one of the thousands of people who are going to lose your home and you haven't been making your payments because you are short a few hundred dollars every month. I strongly encourage you to explore your spending and eliminate the luxuries that I know you can live without. For example I know that you want to stay connected but if you get rid of your cell phone, how much money would that save you every month? 50 to 100 dollars, maybe more? Now how much is that a year? I have said it before and I will say it again, if you are waiting for someone or something to bail you out of your problems then you will be waiting a very long time. Folks it's not going to happen (unless you have very rich relatives or family) and here's why. The only person responsible for your life is you. If you got into debt it is your job to get out of debt. But if your not willing to cut down your expenses to eliminate your debt then take a look in the mirror because the person stopping you from achievement is right there looking back.

Now is the time to develop a powerful system for change. The information that is provided to you in this blog is a stepping stone toward changing your financial state. Review your finances and trim what you can in order to achieve your financial goals. If you can eliminate bad spending you'll be on your way to creating a solid foundation in your life. So here are a few financial Goals that I want you to work on.

1. Pay off debt and eliminate some luxuries.
2. Put 10% to 20% of your monthly income into a savings account.
3. Stop needless spending.
4. Don't withdraw, transfer, or spend the money you are putting into your savings account.
5. Develope a positive belief system about saving money and building a secure financial future for yourself and your family.
   

I believe that you can accomplish anything you believe possible.................John Tubiolo

Should You Start A Business

Have you ever thought about starting a business? Do you think you have what it takes to start and run your own business? Many people think they can start a business but let me tell you this just because you like to drink beer doesn't mean you should own a bar.What people often forget is that owning a business is not always as fun and exciting as you may think. It takes alot of hard work and often the reward is very little if anything at all. I know that there are many of you who look at the boss and think that you could do his or her job. but what you don't see is often the nightmare that many of you are not perpared for. I don't write this blog to discourage you from following your dreams. I am writting this blog because there are far to many business failures then there are successes in this world. People often call me for help when it is far to late and they are on the verge of closing their doors. They often think that I am a miracle worker that can in some way alter months or years of bad decision making and turn things around in a few days. Let me just say this there is never a magic quick fix. If it takes you months to put on 40 pounds then one day in the gym will not get rid of the extra weight no matter how hard you work in that one day. The entire reason I wrote the book Starting and Running a Successful Business was to give up and coming business owners an insite into what it take to be successful and that there is no substitute for hard work and research. You must become an expert in the business you are going to start and you must know who your competition is. The rewards to business ownership can be great but many times people are not perpared for the cost of that success. Remeber that there is no subsitute for being perpared.

Setting Higher Standards

Why should we set higher standards for ourselves? The reason we set high standards is because we will ultimately perform to the levels or standards we set for ourselves and others. If we settle for low performance then low performance is what we achieve. So the question becomes what are you willing to settle for? If you find that getting to work late and that not performing to a high level at work is OK, then you shouldn't be upset when you are not promoted or given a raise. If you allow your children to be messy then don't complain when their rooms are not clean. If you allow your employees to slack off and waste time then they will more then likely let you down when you need them the most. The examples do on and on. People will, for the most part, perform to what is exceptable, the standards set by you. Understand that you cannot expect more out of everyone else if you are not willing to also go the distance. Lead by example. This is the key to achieving higher standards. Live up to the standards you set. Show others what is expected and they will follow your lead. Remember that we cannot expect more than we are willing to do.