I often get asked this question about behavior "Why keep doing I do things that I know are bad for me?" The answer to this question is that we all have certain needs, I call them core needs, that we need to fill in our lives. These needs can be anything from excitement, love, adventure, security, control, power, importance, respect and so on. Each person has a different list of core needs that they want to fill in their lives. How we rank these core needs in our life determines the decisions that we make good or bad. The core needs at the top of our list (the top three) will be the most powerful needs that you will want to fill. Behavior good or bad will continue if they meet at least two of the core needs you have, especially if it meets the core needs on the top of your list. The more core needs a certain behavior meets the more likely you will continue this behavior regardless of the cost. For example; people who have a core need of excitement at the top of their list are more likely to jump from job to job and spend a lot of money looking to fill this need. They say things like "I had to quit that job because it was to boring or not challenging me enough." The problem come in when they are broke and unemployed looking to fill this core need of excitement. This could cause them to turn to things like drinking, drugs, and criminal behavior. I'm not saying that it will, but it could. So then the question becomes "How then do we determine the ranking of our core needs?" The stronger the emotions are to a certain core need the higher the ranking of that need. We are after all emotionally driven animals and our emotional states move us in any direction that we wish. So to change your behavior change the ranking of your core needs and the emotions that are connected to them.
I talk about this topic in more detail in my book The Choice is Yours so if you want to know more get a copy from my web site www,johntubiolo.com at $14.95 it's the best investment you could make to improve the quality of your life.
